Ansuz looks like an F with the two horizontal lines drooping down.  It represents divine speech and thought, the ability to put thoughts and needs into words.  Drawing this stone may mean that a change is about to come about suddenly.  Although one may not know how to respond to this change, the unconscious mind will know what to do.  Spirits will guide.  Angels will lead.  God will direct.  The answers you are looking for may come in the form of dreams, synchronicity, or through an older and wiser person.

When it comes to the healing interpretation, Ansuz has to do with guilt.  One can’t allow intuition to flow when they are too caught up in what they should do or what they shouldn’t have done.  What has already happened can’t be changed.  If amends need to be made, then make them to be freed from the baggage of the past.  Guilt only serves to cloud perception. 

For many years my course of action had been dictated by ideas, for trips or creative projects, that formed like bubbles on the horizon line of my mind.  Once it appeared, that is usually the direction that I went in and when that happened things usually worked out.  Often though, it was quiet for a long time and I had no idea what was going to happen next.  I’d lived most of my life without a plan, relying solely on divine inspiration in the clutch.  My songs and poems worked the same way.  Words would come out of nowhere and I’d have no idea what I was trying to say until I was done.

What was I hoping to accomplish now, studying the runes at the Mexican ruins?  Did it serve any purpose outside of being fully alive during the season I was doing it?  Time would tell.  If that was all, then it was enough.  Life is only to be lived, not explained away, or won.

After visiting the ruins of Uxmal, there were still four hours before the return bus to Merida arrived, at least I hoped it would arrive.  All any of us out visiting that day had to go on was hearsay.  There was no bus station or office to buy a ticket at, just a bench under a tree beside the road.  I decided to eat at the restaurant inside the ruins and got chicken and mole.  There was a mural inside of a group of Mayan priests, wearing masks and blowing horns at a ceremony.  I tried to read my book but couldn’t concentrate.

Finally, there was nothing left to do but go back to the road and wait for the bus.  It still wasn’t scheduled to arrive for two more hours.  There were already six people waiting there.  I got a coke and some cookies and just sat there along with everyone else.  Then, right before the bus arrived a European couple showed up and stood right at the edge of the road, ahead of everyone else, smiling and trying to socialize, as if what they were up to wasn’t transparent to everyone.  If there would’ve been a shortage of seats that would’ve been a major problem, but when the bus rolled up it was only half full. 

When we got back to Merida, I went and bought a ticket to Campeche the next day.  It was only a few hours to get there, so I decided to travel at 10:45.  That would allow me to sleep in and take my time getting to the station. 

That night I walked around the plaza in front of the cathedral.  There was some artwork for Day of the Dead still on display, a series of photographs showing people interacting with death.  A woman in a shawl was hugging a skeleton close to her body.  A child with angel wings, holding a crystal ball, sat surrounded by four skeletons in cowboy hats.  Two skeletons on bicycles approached a man kneeling in a cloud of smoke. 

Inside of a bank building was another display, this one involving photographs of dead children.  There were five living children, holding wreaths of flowers, standing beside a coffin with a dead baby inside.  Next to that was a picture of two women, standing on both sides of a high bed with a dead child on it, surrounded by candles.  A third showed a mother cradling her dead baby in her arms, surrounded by her four living children.

Right outside of the cathedral was a line of horses and carriages that I passed by on my way back to the hotel.  One of them caught my eye, a white horse, with white blinders, pulling a white carriage, with white wheels.  One of these would be arriving soon to take me to my death.  It is amazing how much of my time I spent worrying, wondering what I was going to do next.  One day soon I’d be gone?  What else was there to think about?